DEAR 15YR OLD PHOENIX

In 2015 my dream of being at a Netball World Cup as a Silver Fern came true!! I was only 21, still so young with so much more to learn. It was an experience of a lifetime and I can truly say I loved every moment. One of the most memorable moments for me was sharing our letters that we had written to our 15yr old selves. It gave us all a new-found respect for each other knowing the different challenges we had faced along the way.
This is my letter to 15yr old Phoenix.

~
It’s 9:30 Tuesday morning and you’re probably still spread like a starfish lying in bed negotiating with yourself if you should stay sleeping for a few more minutes or at least attempt to go to school, where you’ll just end up wagging most classes anyway. And the thought of starting 3rd period with the scariest dean doesn’t appeal to you at all so you’ve convinced yourself to go back to sleep.

Fast forward to exams week and here you are once again in bed But this time you’re curled up crying, frustrated and asking yourself WHY? So disappointed, you can’t believe how much time you’ve wasted doing nothing and no school work. Your mind is constantly filled with self-doubt and the one question; what the heck am I going to do when I leave school?

If I could go back in time I’d still be sleeping a lot but I would definitely make the effort to go to school, attend my classes and have the intention to learn.

So you can stop crying and shitting yourself, you are not living off your mum or on the dole!! Well, not at the moment anyway. You are now reading this letter that you only just finished writing about ten mins ago, 21yrs old and at a Netball World Cup representing your country and the people you love. So now please do me a favour, go hard or go home.
~

My love for netball is huge and during these years I was involved in club, reps and school teams. But the one team that meant the most to me would have had to have been AGGS Premier A team. I continued to fail to make this team until my 7th form year and now that I think about it, I let this be very detrimental to my education. I had been working so hard to make this top team that the thought of even trying in class, something I didn’t have any passion for, I would still result in failing miserably and I thought giving up was more preferable to that. My fear of failure beat me. One of my biggest regrets in life but will always be a motivator of mine.

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